I think i peed on brittanys purse
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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