Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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