it wasn't lemon gatorade
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
