You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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