so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize