4 words: hood of his car
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
