47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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