So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize