it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
