I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
