Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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