I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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