You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
