Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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