so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
