That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
