I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
