I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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