He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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