I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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