You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
