There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
sex in a hospital.. check
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
