I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
