my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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