We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
