The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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