nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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