The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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