How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Randomize
