actually, I'm a sock model
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
