I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think your dad took our porno
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
