good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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