Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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