one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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