Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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