More tranny stories later!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
