He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
