At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
