How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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