I want to make a zoo with you.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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