Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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