Will you blow on my dice?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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