ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
