there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
40s are totally the cure
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
