At least make sure they are 18
Why
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
