Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
