Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize