I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
