I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
