note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
