Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
