trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
