I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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