lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
