using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
