cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
im on a boat
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