im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
