You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
