Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
sex in a hospital.. check
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
