this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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