you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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