Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
