Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
