I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
