we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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