Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
