Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
