well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
