I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
