Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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